for Mom


1. Friday Chat 👩‍👦

Andy: Wanna go see Crazy Rich Asians?

Mom: Not witcha broke-ass.

2. Afternoon Chat

Andy: Hey mom, I wrote a new poem!

Mom: Get a job.

3. Monday morning Chat

Andy: You know some writers don’t get famous until 40.

Mom: Get money, not fame.

4. An Early Morning Chat

Andy is sitting at the kitchen table, writing. In a moleskin,

using a fountain pen, he writes: "Early bird gets the...hangover cure."

Mom looks over Andy's shoulder and smiles.

Andy grins and says, "That's really good, right?"

Mom nods and coughs into her hand, and says, "Cure this dumbass." 

Mom slaps the shit out of Andy.

5. Friday Chat

Andy: Hey mom I’m finally cleaning out my car. 

Going to pick up this girl from the air-

Mom: Why are you focusing on girls?

6. A Tuesday Afternoon Chat

Andy: Hey dad! My writing residency is going amaz-

Dad: Cool, hey pick me up from Franconia Metro station, like ASAP.

7. Regular Saturday Morning Chat

Andy: Hey mom, this girl made me pancak-

Mom: I made you.

8. A Typical Friday Morning Chat

Andy: Hey mom wanna grab breakfas-

Mom: You need to lose weight immediately.

9. Chat in the kitchen

Andy: Good morning mom!

Mom raises a knife and chops a watermelon in half. 

Andy clears throat and walks away. 

Mom bites into watermelon slice.

10. Friday Chat

Andy: You’re my best friend.

Mom: I’m your only friend...

11. Group chat

Mom: Stop taking fruits that don’t belong to you. Make it up to me.

Dad: I’ll grill steak today. 

Andy: Mom’s vegan...

12. Wed. Chat

Andy: Hey mom! You look great in that cardi-

Mom: I always look great.