Drake: A Humor Piece On Energy

6godDrake.jpg

Click here to listen to Energy..

+++

Drake, Aubrey, 6 God, Drizzy, Wheelchair Jimmy,

I understand that you have enemies that are trying to drain you of your energy. Have you ever considered installing a backup generator? It’s quite simple to use. When you have a blackout, power outage, or an enemy draining you of your energy, the backup generator senses the loss of power and automatically turns on. 

Giving you energy. The electrical load is transferred to the generator from the utility. I realize they’re trying to take the electrical wave from you Drake. Don’t be worried, the energy will switch back once the utility power returns; so, no more enemies. I can see that you have girls in real life who are trying to fuck up your day, and that’s unfortunate; are they trying to steal batteries from you? 

I’m just joking around Drizzy. Although I know you say, “fuck going online that isn’t part of your day”, but with this backup generator, you can go online without worrying about a power outage. So now it can be a part of your day. 

You’re welcome. 

Also, it sounds unpleasant to have these “girls asking you about the WiFI” password; if, I were you I would turn off the power in your house, so that these girls can’t show you their timeline and pictures of their friendimies, and once they leave, use the backup generator to restore your energy. 

I will say it’s very kind of you to call these girls an Uber, but some Uber drivers are sketchy and creepy as hell, so that’s a double-edged sword right there Drake.  And hear me out here, you’re buying people purses, trucks, houses, and malls; however, you’re making investments in assets that will depreciate over time, this is why you should purchase a backup generator instead. 

With the generator, you are ensuring yourself with energy for life, a benefit that you won’t receive with your other purchases.  Just think about it. Think about the hits you’ll make with all this electricity! 

Best,

Benny Franklin